Festivals and Families
As our Pagan religions grow up, we must accept that we will have increasing numbers of children raised within our faiths. For organizers and hosts of public pagan events the question becomes What are event organizers expected to do for children? Where does the responsibility for the children lie, with the parents or with the festival? As a member of two different religious tribes, one very family-focused, one peopled with childless folks (or parents of teen-adult children), and as an event organizer, I have had the opportunity to see a number of ways to include and exclude children from a community's spiritual activities. Over and over have I encountered a cry from parents for child-friendly events. And I have done some serious soul-searching and unscientific community research into what that might mean and ways it might be accomplished. Believe me, this topic is a snarl of conflicting expectations, connotations, and emotional entanglements.
It comes down to a sense of entitlement. I am entitled to enjoy an event with my children. or, I am entitled to enjoy an event unencumbered by your children. Well folks, it ain't that easy. Unless the event organizers have children or come from a community with lots of children, providing activities for children will be low on the priority list. And most of us have had direct experience with the difficulty of having a successful meditation with a fussy baby or loudly inquisitive youngster nearby. A workshop can be quickly unraveled by a parent trying to entertain or scold a child.
When event organizers begin to delve into the realm of Children's Activities it is all too easy to approach it from the standpoint of "How can we keep the kids away from the important stuff?" That attitude can lead to a place of parents v. the childless and will produce a generation of Pagan children with no love for community, no sense of tradition, and no feeling of Pagan kinship.
The single best approach for parents who want to see more family oriented and child-friendly events is to volunteer. I know how hectic family life can be and how precious is the time of parents. One needn't step into a huge coordinator role or commit hours to the endeavor. If there is an event in your area that does not seem child-friendly, a simple email to the hosts offering an hour or even half an hour kids workshop or activity may work wonders. It would be lovely if all Pagan events had a children's element, but simply wishing for it won't work. If parents take up the mantle, we'll see a steady increase in events that welcome our children with open arms and craft tables. In my own experience, the only times I have seen any meaningful thought given to kid-friendly activities have been when parents themselves got involved and began the work. Please read that carefully, when parents Began the Work. It only takes a little time to get it going. If parents band together to provide even a small space, a brief time for kids, then the larger community will see that it is not the onerous task it can appear to be.
Where to begin when thinking about children at an event:
Some areas of concern: It is easiest and legally safest to not assume responsibility for anyone else's child. Event staff could be liable should anything happen to a child under their supervision. Something for events to consider is to require a waiver before a child participates in any programming, with or without parental supervision. I am a fan of the sign-in sheet. It allows an event to see how many folks were at various activities and in a Children's Area, a brief "You are ultimately responsible for the supervision and safety of your child" at the top and parents signatures along with the child's name below does the trick. Most parents understand that anyway, but it always bears repeating.
An event can make it easier for parents to connect by scheduling a family meet-and-greet time. During that time parents can network amongst themselves and perhaps work out times when they look after one another's children or pool resources to hire someone to babysit. With a bit more planning, an event can establish an e-group or message board where attendees are able to network and arrange cooperative childcare ahead of time (or other networking topics - carpooling, collaborative camping, etc.). This serves to begin the festival tribe-building work before the event and can encourage a family-friendly atmosphere.
If there is camping at your event, is it possible to designate a few spaces as Family Camping? A sign posted in that area with suggested quiet times and a no public debauchery policy could cut down on hard feelings and the possibility of kids awakened by Great Rites or adults awakened by 3am feedings. Likewise, an area for Rowdy Camping (well away from Family Camping) might be welcomed where folks can feel free to...whatever until...whenever.
Stating upfront what the event expectations are is important but we can all stand to be mindful of our language and try to avoid insulting phrasing. Perhaps instead of saying "No Children at the Fire Circle" we could state "16 and older after 11pm."
Many parents have told me that they don't need tons of scheduled, structured workshops and activities for their children, but just a space for them, maybe some basic materials. This is fairly painless to achieve for event organizers As an event planner, I understand that finding staff and/or volunteers can be a real hurdle. Below I'll offer a few suggestions for Children's Activities that can be left unstaffed or expanded by a volunteer/facilitator.
Sample Activities:
1) Simple: A craft table goes a long way. Putting out a bucket of crayons, paper, tape, maybe even safety scissors, and a trash can will go a long way. Such a table does not need to be supervised, though I do recommend a sign saying "Unsupervised Craft Table" so everyone knows what is going on.
Expanded: If you have more time/energy/resources, providing instructions for a simple, thematic craft is not too difficult. The internet is full of ideas, or most bookstores have a teacher-section with activity books. Print out the instructions and post them at your table (you can laminate them to use from year-to-year). If you have a volunteer, they can lead a more complicated craft project--one hour is more than enough time.
2) Simple: Who doesn't love story time? Download a Pagan myth pertinent to the season and clip it in a folder for parents to read to their children. There is quite a collection of child-appropriate tales in the ADF-Parents Program—print and put in a binder. I've found many black-white/line drawings of Gods and Goddesses online that can be printed out as coloring sheets.
Expanded: Why not include reading a story as a work shift? Your public library has plenty of books, or if you have a volunteer ahead of time let them bring a book of their own.
~Tell/read a story then assign the children the roles of the story characters and have them pantomime the story as you read/narrate a second time through.
~Couple a story with a related craft or make puppets out of craft sticks, tissue paper, and white glue for the children to put on a show of the story.
3) Simple: A games area can be fun and inexpensive what with all the Dollar Store treasures available. Put out a few jump ropes, a ball, a Frisbee, big foam noodles, and some plastic buckets and, of course, your sign stating that the area is unsupervised.
Expanded: A volunteer can supervise a games hour (tug-of-war, freeze tag, trains and stations, etc).
4) Simple, w/ a facilitator: How about a nature walk/scavenger hunt? Armed with a list of a few things easily found in the region, take the children on a walk through the woods and try to find everything on the list. A sample list could be; 2 different leaves with jagged edges, 4 leaves with round edges, 1 mushroom, 2 white rocks, something red, 2 straight sticks, 3 bent sticks, 1 big leaf, 1 blue feather, 1 feather of any color, 3 berries, piece of bark shaped like a boat, rock that looks like an animal, 2 yellow flowers, etc. With a large group of children and more parents/volunteers, work in teams.
Expanded: Have the children use their treasures to decorate a Nature Altar. If it is possible, arrange for that altar to be incorporated into a ritual.
~Using found sticks, back, stones, etc the children could build Fairy or Gnome houses in the woods. Braid some vines or grasses together for a pretty little wreath as a gift. Children enjoy taking their family to the site later. If it can be coordinated with ritual leaders, perhaps the children could take the nature Spirit offerings to the houses after the main ritual.
It bears repeating, our Pagan religions are still young. We don't have the generations of members that the big brick-and-mortar religions do so it stands to reason that we don't have great childcare or Vacation Edda Camp in the summers yet. We're still learning. But, we'll need to step it up if we want our children to be *truly* raised in our faith. It takes a village, sure, but it can start with a folding table and a stray bucket of crayons.
As our Pagan religions grow up, we must accept that we will have increasing numbers of children raised within our faiths. For organizers and hosts of public pagan events the question becomes What are event organizers expected to do for children? Where does the responsibility for the children lie, with the parents or with the festival? As a member of two different religious tribes, one very family-focused, one peopled with childless folks (or parents of teen-adult children), and as an event organizer, I have had the opportunity to see a number of ways to include and exclude children from a community's spiritual activities. Over and over have I encountered a cry from parents for child-friendly events. And I have done some serious soul-searching and unscientific community research into what that might mean and ways it might be accomplished. Believe me, this topic is a snarl of conflicting expectations, connotations, and emotional entanglements.
It comes down to a sense of entitlement. I am entitled to enjoy an event with my children. or, I am entitled to enjoy an event unencumbered by your children. Well folks, it ain't that easy. Unless the event organizers have children or come from a community with lots of children, providing activities for children will be low on the priority list. And most of us have had direct experience with the difficulty of having a successful meditation with a fussy baby or loudly inquisitive youngster nearby. A workshop can be quickly unraveled by a parent trying to entertain or scold a child.
When event organizers begin to delve into the realm of Children's Activities it is all too easy to approach it from the standpoint of "How can we keep the kids away from the important stuff?" That attitude can lead to a place of parents v. the childless and will produce a generation of Pagan children with no love for community, no sense of tradition, and no feeling of Pagan kinship.
The single best approach for parents who want to see more family oriented and child-friendly events is to volunteer. I know how hectic family life can be and how precious is the time of parents. One needn't step into a huge coordinator role or commit hours to the endeavor. If there is an event in your area that does not seem child-friendly, a simple email to the hosts offering an hour or even half an hour kids workshop or activity may work wonders. It would be lovely if all Pagan events had a children's element, but simply wishing for it won't work. If parents take up the mantle, we'll see a steady increase in events that welcome our children with open arms and craft tables. In my own experience, the only times I have seen any meaningful thought given to kid-friendly activities have been when parents themselves got involved and began the work. Please read that carefully, when parents Began the Work. It only takes a little time to get it going. If parents band together to provide even a small space, a brief time for kids, then the larger community will see that it is not the onerous task it can appear to be.
Where to begin when thinking about children at an event:
Some areas of concern: It is easiest and legally safest to not assume responsibility for anyone else's child. Event staff could be liable should anything happen to a child under their supervision. Something for events to consider is to require a waiver before a child participates in any programming, with or without parental supervision. I am a fan of the sign-in sheet. It allows an event to see how many folks were at various activities and in a Children's Area, a brief "You are ultimately responsible for the supervision and safety of your child" at the top and parents signatures along with the child's name below does the trick. Most parents understand that anyway, but it always bears repeating.
An event can make it easier for parents to connect by scheduling a family meet-and-greet time. During that time parents can network amongst themselves and perhaps work out times when they look after one another's children or pool resources to hire someone to babysit. With a bit more planning, an event can establish an e-group or message board where attendees are able to network and arrange cooperative childcare ahead of time (or other networking topics - carpooling, collaborative camping, etc.). This serves to begin the festival tribe-building work before the event and can encourage a family-friendly atmosphere.
If there is camping at your event, is it possible to designate a few spaces as Family Camping? A sign posted in that area with suggested quiet times and a no public debauchery policy could cut down on hard feelings and the possibility of kids awakened by Great Rites or adults awakened by 3am feedings. Likewise, an area for Rowdy Camping (well away from Family Camping) might be welcomed where folks can feel free to...whatever until...whenever.
Stating upfront what the event expectations are is important but we can all stand to be mindful of our language and try to avoid insulting phrasing. Perhaps instead of saying "No Children at the Fire Circle" we could state "16 and older after 11pm."
Many parents have told me that they don't need tons of scheduled, structured workshops and activities for their children, but just a space for them, maybe some basic materials. This is fairly painless to achieve for event organizers As an event planner, I understand that finding staff and/or volunteers can be a real hurdle. Below I'll offer a few suggestions for Children's Activities that can be left unstaffed or expanded by a volunteer/facilitator.
Sample Activities:
1) Simple: A craft table goes a long way. Putting out a bucket of crayons, paper, tape, maybe even safety scissors, and a trash can will go a long way. Such a table does not need to be supervised, though I do recommend a sign saying "Unsupervised Craft Table" so everyone knows what is going on.
Expanded: If you have more time/energy/resources, providing instructions for a simple, thematic craft is not too difficult. The internet is full of ideas, or most bookstores have a teacher-section with activity books. Print out the instructions and post them at your table (you can laminate them to use from year-to-year). If you have a volunteer, they can lead a more complicated craft project--one hour is more than enough time.
2) Simple: Who doesn't love story time? Download a Pagan myth pertinent to the season and clip it in a folder for parents to read to their children. There is quite a collection of child-appropriate tales in the ADF-Parents Program—print and put in a binder. I've found many black-white/line drawings of Gods and Goddesses online that can be printed out as coloring sheets.
Expanded: Why not include reading a story as a work shift? Your public library has plenty of books, or if you have a volunteer ahead of time let them bring a book of their own.
~Tell/read a story then assign the children the roles of the story characters and have them pantomime the story as you read/narrate a second time through.
~Couple a story with a related craft or make puppets out of craft sticks, tissue paper, and white glue for the children to put on a show of the story.
3) Simple: A games area can be fun and inexpensive what with all the Dollar Store treasures available. Put out a few jump ropes, a ball, a Frisbee, big foam noodles, and some plastic buckets and, of course, your sign stating that the area is unsupervised.
Expanded: A volunteer can supervise a games hour (tug-of-war, freeze tag, trains and stations, etc).
4) Simple, w/ a facilitator: How about a nature walk/scavenger hunt? Armed with a list of a few things easily found in the region, take the children on a walk through the woods and try to find everything on the list. A sample list could be; 2 different leaves with jagged edges, 4 leaves with round edges, 1 mushroom, 2 white rocks, something red, 2 straight sticks, 3 bent sticks, 1 big leaf, 1 blue feather, 1 feather of any color, 3 berries, piece of bark shaped like a boat, rock that looks like an animal, 2 yellow flowers, etc. With a large group of children and more parents/volunteers, work in teams.
Expanded: Have the children use their treasures to decorate a Nature Altar. If it is possible, arrange for that altar to be incorporated into a ritual.
~Using found sticks, back, stones, etc the children could build Fairy or Gnome houses in the woods. Braid some vines or grasses together for a pretty little wreath as a gift. Children enjoy taking their family to the site later. If it can be coordinated with ritual leaders, perhaps the children could take the nature Spirit offerings to the houses after the main ritual.
It bears repeating, our Pagan religions are still young. We don't have the generations of members that the big brick-and-mortar religions do so it stands to reason that we don't have great childcare or Vacation Edda Camp in the summers yet. We're still learning. But, we'll need to step it up if we want our children to be *truly* raised in our faith. It takes a village, sure, but it can start with a folding table and a stray bucket of crayons.